Let Go of Your Childhood Confidence – Why Comparing Yourself to the Past is Ruining Your Riding

Kerry
Oct 17
3 min read

"I Used to Jump 1.20m… Now I’m Scared to Trot"

Sound familiar? You catch yourself saying things like:

"I used to gallop bareback as a kid—why am I nervous now?"
"I could jump anything at 15… now I freeze at a cross-pole."
"What happened to the fearless rider I used to be?"

Here’s the truth: That younger version of you isn’t coming back. And that’s okay.

In fact, clinging to your past confidence is one of the biggest mental blocks holding you back today.

Why Your Childhood Self Had "False" Confidence

1. Kids Have Different Brains

No fear processing: The prefrontal cortex (which assesses risk) isn’t fully developed until your 20s.
No consequences: Falling hurt less, responsibilities were fewer, and no one billed you for vet fees!

2. You Had Nothing to Lose

Then: Riding was play. No pressure, no expectations.
Now: You’re aware of injuries, impact to your life, costs, and "looking stupid."

3. Your Body Changed

Then: Lightweight, flexible, bounced like a rubber ball.
Now: Stiffer joints, slower reflexes, and way more awareness of pain.

→ Reality check: Of course you’re more cautious now. That’s not weakness—it’s wisdom. And your brain becoming more cautious is a NATURAL thing, it's trying to protect you with everything it has learnt (good and bad!)

The Comparison Trap (And How It Sabotages You)

What Happens in Your Brain

You compare your current self (with adult fears) to your past self (who had none).
Result: Shame → Avoidance → Less riding → Even more fear.

The Irony

That "fearless kid" you idolize?

They probably also had moments of terror (you just don’t remember them).
They’d never judge current you—they’d just say, "Cool horse! Can I pet them?"

How to Move Forward (Without the Guilt)

1. Bury the "Used To" Stories

Write down what you think past-you could do.
Now burn it (or delete it). That rider doesn’t exist anymore.

2. Adopt a "Beginner’s Mind"

Ask yourself: "If I were learning this today for the first time, how would I approach it?"
Example:
- ❌ "I should canter by now."
- ✅ "Today, I’ll celebrate staying balanced in trot."

3. Redefine "Brave"

Then: Brave = Ignoring fear.
Now: Brave = Riding despite fear.
Try this mantra: "I’m not scared—I’m aware. And that makes me a better rider."

A New Way to Measure Progress

Compare Yourself to… Yourself (Last Month)

"I stayed calm when he spooked—last month, I’d have panicked."
"I wanted to ride today—two months ago, I’d have made excuses."

Celebrate "Adult Wins" Kid-You Never Had

"I listened to my gut and didn’t push too hard."
"I paid for this hobby myself—that’s badass!"

Client Story: "I Stopped Grieving My Younger Self"

"I beat myself up for years: ‘At 12, I’d have jumped this.’ Then I realized—my 12-year-old self didn’t have bills, a bad back, or a horse who needed careful riding. Letting go of her freed me to enjoy riding now."

Your Challenge: 7 Days of No Comparisons